New Or·le·ans [awr-lee-uhnz, awr-leenz, awr-luhnz]


a melting pot of cultures, each bringing their own pot-luck of foods, clothing, languages, and, of course, alcohol.

Currency: Plastic Beads

Also Known As: “The Big Easy”, “NOLA”, and “Yeah, I’ve been there before. Dude, you gotta check out The House of Blues. I got a *bro in the band that plays on Tuesday afternoons.”

Food: Sea

Dialect: “Y’all”

Main Import: “3-for-1 Shots!”

Main Export: Hangovers

Business: …Psh, right…

Sports: How many beads can we throw into open windows?

*Urban Dictionary says a bro is an obnoxious party male. In this sentence, I feel it could be a friend or a word short for brother. There are not enough clues to draw an accurate conclusion.


The Dark Side is strong in this float.

Having visited New Orleans recently, I drew some creative comparisons to ongoing tourist events.

Mardi Gras is similar to the End of the World:

1. All resources are consumed like there is no tomorrow, and screaming fills the air.

2. The streets are littered with assorted trash as if all common societal norms do not apply.

3. Currency is not the US dollar. (E.g. During Mardi Gras, currency is plastic beaded necklaces. These necklaces are fought over when tossed during parades, and women often exchange body for beads.) Governments during both events have changed significantly. During Mardi Gras, they have agreed upon a King and Queen various Mardi Gras Krewes.

4. Alcohol is the only source of liquid and is used as a means to celebrate (or cope with) the occasion.

5. There are NO refills on fountain drinks, clearly a sign of the end of all things.

6. Land dinosaurs roam the outskirts of the city. City dwellers call these creatures alligators.

7. People from all parts of the world have gathered for this (sometimes) once-in-a-lifetime event.

8. People wake up the next morning regretting most of their decisions.